What's the difference between a Psychologist who is Christian and a Christian Psychologist?
I have been wanting to write about this topic for quite some time -  I get asked this by clients and colleagues all the time.  Here is my humble opinion:  I am a psychologist who has received many years of education and training, and sat for licensure in the state of California.  That's straightforward.  I am also a Christian.  It is part of my identity and has a strong influence in my life.  To me, that's straightforward, too.  And although I have training in integrating faith and psychotherapy, and I understand the importance of having an understanding for how my clients view spirituality, I do not feel I have the credentials or the desire to call myself a "Christian therapist."  I want to be INCLUSIVE in my practice.  I don't want to alienate anyone or turn anyone away.  I'm not saying Christian therapists want to do that either but it is very important to me that my clients feel their faith and beliefs - or even lack thereof - will be heard and respected.  Here's what it all boils down to for me:
In my psychotherapy practice all are welcome.   I am in the business of helping people...anyone who is willing to seek help and do the work.   I have a profound respect for the person/couple/family who is willing to reach out, get help and self-confront.  I see it as a privilege to be invited into people's lives in such an intimate way and I strive to work as hard as I can.  I'm curious about how others see this topic.  Please feel free to leave comments below or email me at Jen@Drjensandov.com. 
Sincerely, Dr. Sandoval

Having a Spiritual life can lead to better stress management, faster recovery from depression, anxiety and addiction, and better relationships.  Why is this? Because it gives people a sense of purpose and meaning and enhanced stress management skills.
   What is spirituality?  It can be your faith, your religion, or how you worship God or a Higher Power. Or it can be what you hold most dear, what brings you joy, hope and peace, or your community.  It is very personal and people express Spirituality in many different ways. 
Many of my clients with anxiety or sexual issues have trouble letting go of control. Spirituality can help people give up needing to control because they have faith that things will work out.  Spirituality helps with grieving and depression in part because it connects people to a community and supportive network.   In his book "7 Principles for Making Marriage Work,"  John Gottman discusses how one major Principle is developing a sense of purpose and meaning together as a couple.  Couples who do this tend to stay together in the long run. 
Bringing Spirituality into the bedroom...  Find ways to bring your spirituality into the bedroom.  If you pray, pray before or after sex (to yourself or with your partner). I've had clients say a prayer to themselves during sex to help them stay calm and connected.   If you meditate, meditate on the kind of sex you want to have (want hot, more connected sex?).  If music gives you peace and a sense of groundedness, play some music to get you in the mood.  Create a moment of meeting with your partner (this can be very spiritual) by slowing things down and gazing into each others eyes while touching.  So, ask yourself.."Do I have a spiritual life?  If so, am I exploring it/practicing it to the fullest?"  and "How can I/we bring spirituality into our sex life?" 

I recently had the privilege to write a guest blog post for Clinical Addiction and Recovery Institute's (C.A.R.I.) blog.  Here's a link to the website and blog, along with an excerpt from my article:

http://clinicaladdictionrecoveryinstitute.com/blog

The Importance of Good Sex and Romance for Successful Recovery Successful recovery involves many things – motivation, therapeutic    support, and a balanced lifestyle.  Having loving, supportive friends and family is an important part of lasting recovery.  It can be stressful to reintegrate back into your life of family, work and other routines and responsibilities.  This also is true of romance and sexual intimacy.  Many people in recovery can feel anxiety about reconnecting with their partners in an intimate way.  Often times, people in recovery had sex mostly when intoxicated or high.  Sex without alcohol or drugs can be anxiety-provoking.  Their partners, too, might not be used to sex without their partners being under the influence. When reconnecting with your partner in your newfound sobriety or recovery you need to consider Read More…

Dr. Rigo Brueck, Ph.D. is the clinical Director and Co-founder of C.A.R.I.  He is a well-known expert in the field of addiction recovery.  If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction or recovery here is the contact information for Dr. Brueck:
Dr. Rigo Brueck: 1-800-374-5518
Clinical Director & Co-Founder
C.A.R.I., Clinical Addiction Recovery Institute
CA PSY 25588
CA LMFT 48997
www.clinicaladdictionrecoveryinstitute.com

You may ask your self, "What is Sense of Self?"  and "Why would a strong sense of self give me hotter sex?" Sense of self is knowing who you are, what you value and believe, and balancing the need for closeness with others with the need for independence and individuality.  Having a STRONG Sense of Self is being solid in who you are AND being able to hold on to that in the face of someone very important - like a spouse or partner.   Unfortunately, this can prove to be very difficult for most people.  When are partner disagrees with us or if their values change we often accommodate to please them or not cause a fight - or the opposite - we yell and fight and manipulate to get them to go our way.  Either way sense of self is diminished and so is great sex if this behavior continues over time.  Holding onto your sense of self would be being clear about who you are and what you want, expressing that to your partner, and allowing your partner to be who they are.  Yes, this is difficult when we disagree - but we are, in fact, separate people, right?  We can't expect accommodation all the time - this would lead to low sexual desire anyway. We can't strong arm our partners into going our way either.  They'd feel controlled and we'd lose respect for them - none of which is sexy.  So, hot sex comes when we allow our partners to be separate individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, behaviors, etc, and when we respect our own sense of self.  Two people with strong sense of selves, both able to stand on their own two feet, are able to face their partner and get really close.  That's hot!  Being with someone who knows who they are, who takes care of themselves, who allows their partner to have the same is hot! So think about strengthening your sense of self if you want hotter sex. If this is something you need help with consider entering into therapy with a "Differentiation-based" therapist.  Contact Dr. Sandoval for more info or referrals (626)590-9723 or jen@drjensandov.com. Here's to  hotter sex!

Dr. Sandoval is now providing in-home therapy services for individuals, couples, and families that have a need.  This means Dr. Sandoval will drive to your home and provide therapy services in the privacy and comfort of your own home.  This service is for parents of newborns or parents with small children who may not be able to make it into the office regularly, or if postpartum depression is an issue. Dr. Sandoval also does home visits for new moms who may need extra support.  In-home therapy is also for couples with very busy work schedules who have a strong desire to work on their relationship and have difficulty getting into the office for therapy.  Dr. Sandoval can also provide family therapy in-home.  In order to determine if in-home therapy is the right fit for you and is appropriate, Dr. Sandoval first meets with clients in her Del Mar office.  To schedule an appointment or for questions please call Dr. Sandoval directly (626) 590-9723 or email Jen@DrJenSandov.com

On Wednesday, July 9th, I had the privilege of hosting an advanced screening for the movie, "Sex Tape," starring Cameron Diaz and Jason Segal, at the new Arclight Cinema in La Jolla.  After the movie I did a Q & A and shared my "Top 10 Tips for Re-igniting the Flame in Your Relationship."  "Sex Tape" is about a late 30's couple who are struggling to get the passion back in their relationship (2 kids, 2 careers, lots of stress, no sleep - you get the point).  They make a sex tape to spice things up but it accidentally gets uploaded to "the cloud." What I loved about the movie (it was hilarious!) was that it does a great job of depicting the sexual rut most couples experience when they are overloaded with stress and responsibilities.  So many of my couples struggle with this issue.  Let me share 3 ways you can re-ignite the flame in your relationship:

1)  Self-regulate:  Take care of and manage your own emotions.  Out-of-control emotions are not sexy!  And if you can't regulate your anxiety how will you tolerate discussing sexual desires or sexual issues?

2)  Push your limits:  Be willing to take risks, try novel things, push outside of your comfort zone.  Remember the hot sex you had in the beginning of your relationship?  Well, it wasn't because it was comfortable!  It was exciting and uninhibited.  Safety and comfort do not equal hot sex!

3)  Take care of yourself:  Practice overall wellness. Exercise.  Sleep.  Eat well. Set limits at work and with your electronic devices (put them down!).  Get therapy to address any issues that may be interfering with your sex life or relationship.

On a final note, if you're having challenges in your sexual relationship, your relationship in general, or the passion has died don't wait to seek out the help of an experienced sex therapist.  These experts can help you improve your relationship and sex life in a confidential environment.  Feel free to email me at Jen@drjensandov.com or call (626) 590-9723 if you need help finding a sex therapist, or if you'd like to set up a consultation with me.